I am scared every day that I am going to leave my daughter without a mother. I say this because my mom passed away when I was 5 years old. You can see how this would give someone a complex. In my mind, moms die. So every time I get a headache or feel a weird pain in my neck, I think of my mom and freak out just a little bit. My mind goes places it shouldn't and that is that.
Also with not having a mom growing up, I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I know every new mom feels that way but most of them have their moms to lean on. I don't.
Yes, I might just be feeling sorry for myself but I think that I am entitled to that after the life I have led. People say I am strong and that I can get through anything. But I wonder how strong I really am. Maybe I have just been making it through the best I can and now I am finally breaking. I have always had to be the strong one, the mature one, the one that remembers everything for everyone, when do I get a turn to just be?
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